Troubles

Danny came back at half past eleven Christmas night – alone. Told me in a couple of words that Marz had gone off with some bloke then wrapped himself in the spare duvet and went to sleep on the settee. I watched TV for a while longer then went to bed but a few hours later woke up to all this shouting and yelling. Thought for a minute Marz had come home but it was Danny, his old trouble back again. I flew in there, tried to hold him but he fought me off like a bloody devil calling me some name I didn’t recognise. I kept saying all quiet and firm, ‘Danny, it’s Jazz, it’s Jazz,’ but it was as if he didn’t hear me and I had to back off or get hurt. I didn’t know what the hell to do, just had to watch him screaming and tearing at his face, then suddenly he seemed to see me and curled up, started to cry.

I went to him then, put my arms around him, stroked his hair. It’s the closest we’ve ever ever been and it felt so good. But it’s not the way I wanted it to be. I knew this would happen if he didn’t keep taking the medication and the omega 3, went back to drinking, taking stuff.

Boxing Day he slept on and off all day, exhausted. I was pretty shattered myself after the busy week and everything, mostly watched TV, got us some food. He’s been OK since tho.Now I’m worried about Marz. Tuesday evening and she’s still not back.